‘The waiting, God, is so hard. Is this dream a dream from you or is it rooted in my selfish ambition?’
I imagine with Abraham what it was like to wait 25 years for the promise of God to be fulfilled. What must it have been like year after year, month after month, day after day to wait and believe?
We are not all Abraham’s. Not all of us have been called to leave our homes, our family, and our city, but we are all called to believe and to trust.
That’s hard. It’s harder than hard. Sometimes it seems impossible. How do I trust when I cannot see? How do I trust when I do not know where I am going? How do I trust when it seems as though God has left me to flounder?
I know it’s been said to ‘look up to Jesus’ and ‘keep your eyes focused on him’ and ‘look above your circumstances and focus on Him, ‘and all those sayings are true, I’ve even said it myself, but sometimes it seems like a trite saying when I just can’t see Him.
The thing I love about Abraham is that he didn’t deny his circumstances. He faced the reality of his circumstances. His circumstances were that he and his wife were unable to bear children because of their age, yet they were given the promise of a son. So Abraham believed and it is credited to him as righteousness. He faced reality, and he believed.
Those aren’t two contradictory statements. In fact, we can learn how to navigate our sticky, painful circumstances if we follow Abraham’s example.
Looking up isn’t always the answer. Sometimes we have to look down. Sometimes we have to accept our reality and look at it for what it is. Struggling with idols? Struggling in your relationships? Struggling with your church? Struggling with past regret? Don’t deny it. See it for what it is.
And then see Jesus in the middle of it. Look for him. Ask him to reveal himself. Ask him to change you and grow you. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing Jesus in the middle of our circumstances.
Will you see him in the beauty of a sunrise and thank him for another day to wake up and walk with him? Will you see him in the delicacy of a tiny wildflower that could be overlooked during a wander through the woods? Will you see him in the smile of your children? Will you see him in the rustle of the autumn leaves as they slowly change their hue from green to yellow gold, fiery red, and burnished bronze? Even in your hurt will you see him?
He calls us to believe and to trust.
Can we believe like Abraham even when the circumstances seem and feel impossible?
We can.
We will.
Faith does not make things easy, but it does make them possible.
This is the key to making it through those days when you get up out of bed and want to crawl back into bed, throw the covers over your head because there is a big, hairy, scary monster out there called ‘To-Do’ that just might chew you up and spit you out.
Oy. I love where God has placed me. It’s hard though. and this year is a stretch. I’ve got kids stretched out all over the emotional need spectrum. I have two teenage daughters–one half way through those teen years and the other just beginning. Then there is my son who seems to be on the cusp of pre-teen, I just wish someone would have told me my son would lose his brain at the age of ten…oh wait, someone did… I just didn’t believe them. And then there is the baby, who truly is in the middle of childhood. I wish I could go back and tell myself that those years when I had four children under the age of 10 were the easiest years yet. (I don’t think I would have believed myself either).
But God is faithful.
And loving.
And kind.
And strong.
And all-knowing.
And full of wisdom.
This is the deal: when I abide, when I rest in him, when I rely on him for my strength, my joy, and my knowledge, I am truly carried through the turmoil of emotions that I don’t even know how to deal with within myself let alone guide my daughters through. I am given wisdom on how to relate to my son in such a way that lets him know that I value him. I am given times of joy when I take the time to laugh with my 8 year old.
When I abide, I am able to be in the moment with my loved ones. I am able to embrace exactly where I am at while also recognizing the reality that I am stretched to what feels my limits in regards to time management, home organization, and being what my husband and kids need at any given moment.
Abiding. It reminds me of rest.
A virtual rest in a very real, very busy life. A perspective shift. Instead of searching for solutions to the busyness, I choose to abide in the Lord in the midst of the busy life.
Abiding.
If I remain in him, he will remain in me. John 15:4.
There is peace there.
There is rest there.
There is hope there.
Joy.
Wisdom.
Strength.
Love.
So much love.
Love greater than our greatest need or biggest fear.
Fall is whispering its arrival in the cool nights and the turning of the fields. I have always thought the fall sky is a different sort of blue than the blue of summer or spring or winter. It takes on a brilliance that is emphasized with the myriad of colors in the fields, trees and lawns.
Harvest.
It’s a time to reap what was sown.
It’s a time to calculate the bushels grown and collected.
I watch the cycle of seasons as they unfold and with it I see the cycle of my spiritual life. Often times, in my walk with Christ, I go through quiet seasons, similar to winter where things seem barren, but life is there, it’s just hidden for a time. It’s a time where the Lord is revealing a hidden truth to me so I dig deep and mine it out and ponder and let it grow within and stir my soul. Sometimes I learn a hard truth, such as a pattern of thought that doesn’t please the Lord and sometimes it’s a healing truth, such as he chooses me. Me! The unchosen! (you know those playground games where teams are chosen and there is this one kid that gets picked last, but nobody wants her, but you have to pick her anyway? That was me.)
Then spring comes and with it there is mud, icy rain, and more mud, but eventually, because it alway does, life pokes it’s little head up through the muddy soil and reaches for the warmth of the sun. So it is with God’s life-giving truths in my spirit. As I accept those truths, they can’t help but poke their little heads up, looking around, trying the world on for size, trying me on for size. It’s the best part of God’s truths. They affect us and the world around us. They bring beauty.
Summer arrives and plants grow and flower and flourish. That ‘truth’ that God revealed to me in winter? Well, it begins to bloom and produce fruit, yet it needs to be protected from the weeds that will choke a new plant out. What are those weeds? My defaults. My knee-jerk reactions to people and circumstances. When that happens, I have a choice. I can choose to pull it out right then and there or ignore it and wait for another day more ‘conducive’ to ‘weeding’. The thing is…the longer I allow a weed to take root in my flower bed, the harder it is to pull out. So it is with spiritual weeds. Pull them while they’re little and your heart’s soil is soft.
Autumn.
My favorite time of the year. The colors are brilliant. The sky takes my breath away. The sunrises and sunsets are the most spectacular. It appears that plants are dying, but it’s this time when we can offer our fruits to others. We’ve grown and taken in nutrients from the soil and sun and we have produced fruit! The truths we learn, the hard things we face, the growth we experience are not meant for us alone. Everything we experience can be turned into praise when we allow the Holy Spirit into those places to be used for God’s glory and purpose in someone else’s life.
Then there is a season of rest–winter. And the cycle continues. We are not meant to live always in summer or on a mountaintop, but there are winter times and valley times and new growth times and muddy times and cold times and warmed by the sun times. Embrace it all and smile into the face of the future. God is there.
Psalm 27:4, ‘One thing I ask from the Lord,this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lordall the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.’
you might look at yourself in the mirror and think, ‘Beauty? Me?’, I know I ask that question.
But this I’ve learned: as I gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him, I become like him.
So if I declare the Lord is full of beauty and grace and I am seeking him and he is growing me and changing me into a reflection of him, then mustn’t grace and beauty be growing in me as well? Each time I respond in grace, am I not beautiful? Are you not beautiful?
You are full of beauty.
When you smile at the antics of your children rather than frown.
When you respond in kindness to the rudeness of a co-worker.
When you divert the conversation when the words begin slandering someone else.
You are full of beauty when your tone expresses value to the one to whom you are speaking.
Beauty. Full of it. You.
Gaze upon the beauty of the Lord. Take it in and exhale grace and beauty to those around you.
Is it a good night’s sleep? Is it taking a catnap during the day? Is it relaxing with a good book or a favorite TV show? What exactly does Christ mean when he says in Matthew 11, ‘Come to me those who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest’?
I recently talked to three of my kids about what this means to each of them. Their answers were varied. One said that ‘if I go to Jesus, I will be saved’, another said, ‘my burdens will be taken away’, another said that ‘I will find peace’. I looked at them and then looked at the words and asked these questions: ‘Where does it say in this passage that I will be saved, find peace, or that my burdens will be taken away?’ They looked at me, then looked at the verse and said, ‘oh!, I guess it doesn’t really say what I thought it did’.
It is true that through Jesus we find salvation and it is true that we will receive peace, and it’s even true that he will bear our burdens. But this verse doesn’t say anything about my burdens being taken away, it doesn’t say anything about salvation or peace, but what it does say is that I will find rest if I come to him.
I work hard at what I am called to do. It is also true I am heavy laden–the responsibilities I bear are great. Rest sounds delightful. But how do I ‘come to Him?’. I can’t exactly pop up to heaven for a sit down chat with the Lord. Or travel through time to ancient Israel and meet with him on the shores of Galilee.
No.
Coming to Jesus looks different than that.
It must be a posture of the heart.
It must involve stilling my soul.
It must involve closing my mouth and listening to the voice of the Lord sing his song over me or whisper these encouraging words, ‘I’ve got this, just take the next step, I will catch you if you stumble’.
So I still my soul. I quiet my mind of worries and concerns and anxieties and as I begin to settle into his rest I hear him speak:
‘That’s right, you can do it. Take that step. Oops, you missed the mark and stumbled. That’s ok, just make it right with your son and let’s move on. Good job! You did it! I love you, you’re doing great. I know you’re tired, but I am here, lean on me. Let me carry you for a while. Oh my sweet, you are doing great, let’s sit here and enjoy this vista. Do you see how my breeze flutters the leaves on that maple? They dance! If you look closely you can see their song. Here, rest your head against my chest, can you hear my heart beat? My heart beats with love for you. Let me give you rest.’
And so I take these moments throughout the day. I tune my ear to hear his voice and his voice is ever sweet and kind, even when he corrects he is always kind.
