Rejection lurks and lingers, taunts, and threatens to show up where I least expect it. It’s a cocked and loaded weapon aimed directly at my heart and I walk through life with hands held up ready to surrender my identity, my purpose, and my relationships.
I’ve called myself names, I’ve believed I don’t have anything to offer, and then I’ve believed that my gifts and talents don’t have as much purpose as yours.
Rejection steals my identity in Christ because my security is in Him.
Rejection kills my purpose because of the impossible cycle of pleasing people.
Rejection destroys relationships because I view them through a fear-filled lens.
Do you live defensively expecting to be rejected? Do you approach relationships planning to be rejected? Do you self-condemn so rejection doesn’t surprise you?
I’ve self-condemned, self-sabotaged, and self-hated. Have you? But God wants us to be filled with him. He is our defender so we don’t need to live defensively. He is our greatest cheerleader so we don’t need to be afraid to step out onto the stage of life. He is our greatest champion so we don’t have to worry whether we win or lose because our hearts, our life, is safe in his plans. God becomes who we live to please—not ourselves and especially not what other’s want us to be.
We don’t have to enter every friendship with the expectation that it will end in rejection. We don’t have to hold ourselves back from relationships, isolating us further into self-condemnation.
You see, when we self-condemn, we partner with Satan’s three tools of destruction: to steal, kill, and destroy, but when we partner with God we are given freedom, joy, and life.
Our minds and hearts work together and we must realize that our self-condemnation is a default response to our fear of rejection. The way to be free is to have our mind renewed.
The most effective way I’ve found to renew my mind is through transformation and captivation.
Romans 12:1-2, “Therefore….present your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
2 Cor. 10:5, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
My thoughts transform as I submit my life to God’s holy and acceptable way of living. Living fear-filled is not holy and acceptable. We are called to faith-filled and courage-filled and trust-filled lives. God finishes what he starts and works everything out.
Self-condemnation is not a holy and acceptable way of thinking. And those thoughts—the ones that tell me I’m no good or not enough need to brought into captive obedience to Christ.
[bctt tweet=”Christ lives in us and when we diss ourselves, we reject Christ in us.” username=””]
Today, right now, offer your life as a living sacrifice.
The pain of rejection is worse than letting God touch those tender places in your heart. As you lay your fear down, step back, and turn your eyes on Jesus. Let his heart for you wash over you. And when you’re tempted to self-condemn, bring that thought captive and make it obey Christ. It looks a little like this: instead of saying, “I am a screw up,” Say, “I’ve messed up, but God loves me, messes and all, and I run to him instead of hiding in my shame.”
Those thoughts we have about ourselves? They’re going to come, but as we learn the process of captivity and obedience we will experience transformation and then become the fear-fighter we want to be.
These are not my favorite words. Sometimes they induce a temper tantrum, foot stomping, roll on the ground kind of response.
But God, in his infinite grace and mercy, draws me closer to him with these very words and I think of this Andrew Murray quote:
It [patience] is the highest expression of our faith in his goodness and faithfulness. It brings the soul perfect rest in the assurance that God is carrying on His work.
I’m bringing your a video devotional today and sharing how I deal with those pesky words of “wait” and “patient.”
For two consecutive months my heart sank when I maneuvered my over-filled cart to the checkout lane and “The Daydreamer” bagged my groceries. As I watched her gaze off into the distance for every two items she packed, I wanted to snap my fingers in her face to grab her attention. Could I push her out of the way and bag my own groceries?
I did neither.
I did put a smile on my face.
But my insides did not match my outside.
Waiting. It can make me crazy. I put on a patience facade, but inside my heart races and my blood pressure rises. But God is calling me to wait on him and he shows me how in real-life incidents.
I’m grasping the idea that waiting is much bigger and much more important than I ever anticipated in my walk with Christ.
It’s also hard. Really hard.
It takes discipline. Ugh.
It takes perseverance. Too much sometimes.
God wants my inner self and outer self to be in harmony with each other. I might be able to fool others, but God is aware of the state of my heart.
If I were the most giving person, but my heart is resentful, my giving means nothing. I can be the most vocal for the socially oppressed, but if I oppress my fellow believers then my voice loses impact. If I raise my hands in worship or bow my body before the Lord, but refuse to surrender a secret hurt or offense then my worship means nothing.
Our outer self must reflect our inner self.
Psalm 37:34 “Wait for the Lord, keep his ways and he will exalt you to inherit the land.”
The key to having harmony between my inner and outer self lies in these three words: “keep his ways.”
But.
Sometimes keeping his ways is hard. Sometimes his ways lead us to a sea with our enemies closing in. And keeping his ways means surrendering a lifestyle or habit that is the opposite of kindness or unity or self-control or patience or goodness or life-giving words.
But we fail. You know? In one experience in the grocery store, we lose forward momentum. But we want to honor God and his word and we want to please him and receive his blessings so we keep trying and we keep failing.
Soon we are driven to the cross where we fall on our knees. We lift up our hands in surrender and we decide to wait on him because we are exhausted and can no longer keep doing and failing.
Waiting on the Lord begins with our impotence. We can do nothing in our own strength.
“Put your power in God’s omnipotence and find in waiting on God your deliverance. Your failure has been owing to only one thing: you sought to conquer and obey in your own strength. Come and bow before God who alone is good, and alone can work any good thing.” Andrew Murray, Waiting on God
We can talk ourselves into failing just by the overwhelming statement of “keep his ways.” But this I know: God takes us from strength to strength. Ability to ability. And we must carefully keep those that we have received the strength for, trusting him to guide our steps and guide our growth into the next one.
[bctt tweet=”In my full surrender I have full access to God’s blessings.” username=””]
In my impotence I am strengthened and filled with his goodness, his righteousness, and his love.
Waiting on God is about God’s magnificence, his faithfulness, his strength. It’s about recognizing that I am small and he is big. And it’s in my smallness that I experience his work in my life. The work that he brings from the inside out. The work that can only come from him, the work that is only through him, and the work that is only for him.
