I’m amazed at how negative my thoughts can be sometimes. Before I know it, I’ve tried and quartered the person that seems more like an enemy than a friend. Or I’ve embraced despair over a situation. Or I’ve declared there’s no hope for so and so.
And then there’s this classic move: planned out conversations that work perfectly in my mind and fail spectacularly in person because, doh, the person is a real person and not a character in my script.
And sometimes my thoughts aren’t so nice and would totally require major cleanup and brown-nosing for the rest of my life, thank-you very much.
It’s in those moments when I consider that my secret thoughts aren’t really secret after all. God knows the secrets of my heart and I know that I can go to him, not for justification of my bad thoughts, but for help in sorting through them.
Angry thoughts hide hurt feelings. Hurts slices our core needs: to feel safe, validated, and loved. Instead of dealing with the pain of abandonment, we grow angry and seek retaliation or exhibit desperation. Rejection tugs on the basic need to be accepted and rather than deal with the deep wound it causes, we turn to angry thoughts.
(Why is it that we have anger management classes, but not hurt-management classes? Because anger makes us appear strong, and hurt causes us to appear weak. Hurt is multi-faceted and many-layered, and can take years of deliberate choices in order to heal, but dealing with our hurts is what makes us stronger.)
Another thought that motivates me in cleaning up my thought life is the verse where it talks about what is done in the dark will be brought to the light. Yikes. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had some thoughts I don’t even want to admit I’ve had. But what’s in the dark, must be exposed to the light in order to be healed.
So, what are you thinking? Truly. Bring all your thoughts into the light. Oh, sure, they’ll squeal and you might squirm when you hear yourself, but trust me, it’s best if you can bring them to God. It’s like you bringing your broken treasure to him in cupped hands and like a child state, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do. Help.”
We fly through life. While we’re sorting the laundry, we’re sorting a relationship problem. In one instance, we answer our kids, that text, and our husbands. We juggle work projects and people projects and church dissension and personal growth issues and pretty soon, we push the auto-pilot button and say, like Batman in the Lego Batman movie, “Rope, you’re in charge.”
Auto-pilot. I’ve been there. I’m there more often than I admit. With three kids in school, managing our days, our home, church responsibilities, my writing studio project, and ministry, my mind is a busy, busy place. I can be sitting still, but my mind is leaping and turning and diving and solving and brainstorming.
I turn on auto-pilot and it’s when I do that the thoughts I think in secret get spoken. Chagrined? Yes. Dismayed? Oh, yea. Embarrassed? Absolutely. Needing to bring all the broken pieces to God? No doubt.
Am I saying that we can’t ever mess up? Not at all. What I am saying is that our thoughts are one of the most important commodities we possess. They affect our lives for good or for evil because it’s in our thoughts that temptations give birth to sin.
Our thoughts are merely unspoken words. And when we dive into God’s words about the power of words, we see the importance of guarding our hearts so that our minds might be renewed in order for the thoughts we think to become the life-giving words we want to say.
Friends, we don’t change from the outside in. We change from the inside out. One of the things I don’t do for my family is clean out their pockets before I wash their clothes. I probably should because I have washed wallets, chapstick, crayons, gum, hair ties, legos, screws, and keys, but I’m afraid of what I’m going to find in the dark recesses of their pockets.
Let’s not be like that with our minds. God knows our thoughts anyway, so let’s ask him to help us be aware of our thoughts so our words can be life-giving. So let’s reach into that pocket and turn it inside out. Get rid of the fuzz and lint and ask God to make your mind new.
The Takeaway
In order for negative cycles to be broken, we need to begin in our hearts and what’s in our hearts is evidenced by the words we think and say.
Pay attention to what you’re thinking and talk to God about it.
Scripture to Ponder
“Would not God have discovered it, since he knows the secrets of the heart.” Psalm 44:21
“There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.” Luke 12:2-3
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23
I have a problem. Maybe you can relate? It’s this: I don’t do what I want to do and I do what I don’t want to do. I’m quick to speak and slow to listen. Quick to judge and slow to show mercy. I make up excuses. I put requirements on the “thing” that needs doing and if the requirements aren’t meant, then I don’t have to do said “thing.”
Right now, that “thing” is getting up early.
Yes, getting up early. A seemingly minor thing that has become quite major in my life especially this time of year when school claims my days.
This is my routine: I go to bed at 10pm and set an alarm for 6am (rather, my husband sets his alarm for 6). I “command” myself to get up when the alarm goes off No. Matter. What.
But this is what happens: I can’t find the sweet spot in my pillow so I toss and turn till 11:30. Then the cat wakes me up at 1:27 so I get up to put him in the bathroom. Then I fall back asleep but wake up because I’m too hot or too chilled or my hips ache. Sometimes God wakes me up to pray. And when the alarm goes off, I lay there, pretending to be sleeping, but asking God to help me get going. And justifying the many reasons why I can’t get up: the pillow, the cat, the heat, the cold, the hips, blah, blah, blah. I glare at the digital clock, wishing my eyes had laser beams so I could burn it to smithereens.
But today was different. I laid there staring out the window asking God, again, to help me get going, and I hear him whisper. “I will be your strength, but you gotta get yourself outta this bed. You take a step and I’ll do the rest.”
So I thought of Paul and him not doing what he wants to do and me not doing what I want to do. And then I thought of James and the verse that says faith without works is dead. It arrested me so much that I got up. I hauled my sorry self up into a sitting position, groaning and grimacing the whole way, and trusted God to take care of the rest. I’m not a stick puppet with strings attached to a puppet master. I needed to take the step. So I did.
And in the doing, it made me think of cycles and breaking them. All broken cycles start with a step towards something different. In this case, I needed to sit up, cease from whining, complaining, and negotiating. I took a step and he helped, just as he said he would.
So here’s the deal: we all have cycles to break.
It could be internal cycles of worry, fear, indulgence, comparison, judgement, doubt, unbelief. Or it could be external cycles of divorce, addiction, entertainment choices, gossip, slander, driving over the speed limit, or not using your blinker. Either way: cycles trap us, but God’s grace sets us free.
The following are snippets of the steps I’ve taken to break cycles in my life. Cycles like divorce, abandonment, and unrighteous living versus righteous living. I’m not perfect, but I love and serve the One who is, and it’s by His power and might that cycles are broken.
Step One:
Be aware of your thoughts.
(Listen to what you’re thinking)
Step Two:
Capture your thoughts.
(Grab the ones that tear down others or yourself)
Step Three:
Make them obedient to Christ.
(Flip the script)
Step Four:
Change your thinking.
(Be deliberate about your thoughts–on purpose)
Step Five:
Don’t think about what you don’t want to be, think about what you do want to be.
(’nuff said)
Step Six:
Practice Quiet
(Be still, oh my soul)
Step Seven:
Use those weapons.
(Tear down strongholds and anything that’s set up against God’s thoughts and opinions)
Step Eight:
Receive grace.
(Grace abounds to you when you need it)
Step Nine:
Walk boldly.
(Activated faith)
The Takeaway
We’re called to transformation by the renewing of our mind. God makes us new, writes his heart on ours, and then calls us to a life surrendered and lived for him.
What cycle do you want to break? I’ll be diving deeper into these steps over the next several weeks. But it starts with a step. It starts with you putting action to what you say you believe. It’s starts with you sitting up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and declaring, with your actions, that you believe God’s going to help you.
He’s your rock, your strength, your refuge, and your hope. And your grace for living today.
Imagine a wee little spring bubbling and gurgling, laughing and splashing life giving water on it’s surroundings. We see beauty in the rock’s hidden treasures that only wetness can bring. Our eyes caress the little mountain wildflowers and we wonder at that perfect shade of lavender. The little spring accomplishes so much as it feeds life into it’s environment.
“But whoever drinks of the water that I give him will never be more thirsty again. The water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14
The Holy Spirit lives within those who receive Jesus as Savior and Lord. Transformed and made whole hearts happen because of the up-springing of the Holy Spirit within us. The Holy Spirit is the spring within us that gives us victory over our old life, makes real the things of Christ, and helps us realize the Fatherhood of God.
When the Holy Spirit can flow through our lives unquenched and ungrieved, he takes up our troubles and fears and settles them for us according to God’s will. The Holy Spirit makes a way for our outer lives to be the unforced reflection of an inner life which is pure, full of tenderness, looks on humanity with a heart of love, and watches for opportunities to offer a helping hand to lift up the oppressed and weary.
The power of God lives within us like the little spring in the woods. Sometimes we wonder if it will ever run dry, but then we hear the whisper of the upper spring assuring us that we’re connected to a much bigger source that will never run dry. It’s only risks are blockages to the flow. Muddy leaves or falling branches will prevent the grand-daddy springs from feeding the little spring.
What blocks the flow of the Holy Spirit in our lives?
Grieving the Spirit
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Ephesians 4:30-31
Bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice grieve the Holy Spirit. Every time we justify one of these by saying, “God made me with a quick temper, it’s just the way I am, he’ll understand.” It might be the way you are, but have you considered the consequences to the person you took your quick anger out on? We don’t live as isolated islands, but intertwined and inter-dependent on one another.
All the things we keep in our hearts, defended, hidden, petted, and justified choke the inlet and outlet of the Holy Spirit in our life.
Quenching the Spirit
“Do not quench the spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 5:19
Is it easy or hard for you to say yes to God? When God says to pray, do you? When he says be still, do you get busy? When he says give your time or money, do you find ways to get out of it?
Each time we say “no” to the command to pray, give, or serve, we block the flow of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
Say yes with your whole heart.
The Takeaway
My beautiful friends, it’s not about getting more of God in you by praying harder or doing more, it’s about taking into account the fact that you have him already. As C. I. Scofield states, “If you really believe that the Holy Spirit of God dwells in your mortal body, a transformation of life has begun.”
We don’t base this God-life on feelings but by receiving the facts by faith. God lives within you, you are seated in the heavenly realms with Christ, and the Holy Spirit lives within you. Those are facts that you can receive by faith.
