Resting is one of the most difficult thing for me to do. I usually have a book in hand, design articles to peruse, photography tutorials to practice, or talking to whoever is nearby. If I actually rest, where I close my eyes and still my body and quiet my mind, I last for about 30 minutes. I call it my power nap and it is really effective, but the kind of rest I am pondering for the new year is a different kind of rest.
It is the first week of 2016 and I am surrounded by resolutions and goals and I have decided to rest. Here I have a new year at my finger tips to accomplish goals and I choose to rest? Is it really a code name for ‘lazy’? Is it a cop-out?
Just as desperation is my resolve this year, rest is my means of feeding that desperation.
Isaiah 30:15a ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength’.
I believe that God is for me–he is for everyone who put their trust in him– and if I believe he is for me than I know that he says that I am an overcomer.
The thing is, when I hear the word ‘overcomer’ I don’t think of desperation and rest. I think of fighting and battling and not giving up. However, this verse talks to me of repentance and rest.
Repentance is one step to overcoming.
Repentance is turning from that which hinders my walk with Christ.
Rest is being confident that I cannot save myself, it is a gift of God.
Rest is a unencumbered trust in my Lord.
When I repent and rest in the Truth, I find my salvation. I find peace. I find that the everyday gunk of life is not insurmountable.
Rest is my strength.
I don’t feel strong after a session of worrying. I feel weak and hopeless. I don’t feel desperate for the Lord. I feel desperate to fix a situation that I have no way to fix. Worrying and fretting weakens the power of prayer and prayer becomes the last thing I resort to instead of being the first weapon I pick up.
It sounds a little like upside down thinking, but I have found that quieting my mind, will, emotions, and trusting God’s heart for me to be the greatest thing I can do to strengthen my soul.
In our current society, I have found that children are considered a blessing if you have the requisite one or two and then done, but the responses to much more than that can be varied. I have four, a small or large number, depending on your perspective. My fourth was celebrated by some and barely acknowledge by others. It all depends on perspective.
In biblical times, fertility was seen as a blessing and infertility as a curse. Blessings were tied to doing things ‘right’ and curses were seen as ‘obviously, you have some unforgiven sin in your life and that is why ‘this’ is or is not happening to you’. This type of response still happens today, but that is a topic for another day. Today my heart is pondering Zechariah and Elizabeth.
Elizabeth uses the word ‘reproach’ to describe her state in her community. The word reproach implies that she was an object of disgrace, that she was blamed for her infertility, and that she was criticized by her community. This is one of our few insights into Elizabeth’s heart. God’s own words assures us that she and Zechariah were blameless and upright and kept all the laws of God. We can learn a lot about their hearts in that one statement.
Misunderstood. I would use that word to describe Elizabeth’s place in her community. She knew in her heart what God said about her, but she had to hear with her ears what her community said about her. That is a difficult place to be and it can either grow your faith or grow your bitterness. You get to decide.
Being misunderstood is a part of this life.
So how do we maneuver being misunderstood with the truth of who we are in Christ?
That is a question we must address as we move forward in this walk of life. I believe it has to become an internal tension we must grow to accept because the truth of the matter is that we will not always be understood.
We will be misunderstood.
What we do with it will shape our character.
We can defend ourselves.
We can be silent.
We can put up a wall.
We can protect ourselves.
But what if we did this instead: we accept the misunderstandings others have about us then we ask the Lord if there is any truth in the misconceptions about us, and finally, most importantly, we lay the truth of God’s word over the misunderstanding and let the word of God determine our course of action.
Sometimes it’s being secure in the truth that we are doing exactly what the Lord has asked of us. Sometimes it’s speaking the truth in love with grace. Sometimes it’s letting go of the priority we place on another person’s perception about us.
But mostly it’s about trusting God’s heart towards us and being secure in the knowledge that he is for us.
He is for you. You can trust his heart because his heart is good towards you.
I love to watch the intensity of the sun change through the seasons. I love the gentle light of spring and the bright light of winter and the intense light of summer and fading light of fall. I prefer curtain-less windows so light can stream in and wash me in it’s warmth and light.
It’s the light that changes my perspective. The brilliance of the light surrounding the branch holding these leaves to the point where you cannot see any distinguishing marks of the branch itself, reminds me that that is who I am in Christ. It’s how I want to be seen, by not being seen at all, but all there is to see is the brilliance of Christ engulfing me and surrounding me. That is my heart’s cry.
But I also need the light to illuminate the areas that Christ wants me to surrender to his redeeming work. When his light shines into those hidden places of my heart I see things that shame me because I know better, but there they are, lurking in the dark recesses of my heart, but nothing, absolutely nothing is hidden from God. Nothing.
So as painful as it is to be wrong, it is for my best. Because as I trade in my darkness for his light, I shine brighter and his work in my life is highlighted and he receives all the glory because I cannot trade:
pride for humility,
my people-approval seeking heart for a God-approval seeking heart,
jealousy for rejoicing,
comparison for contentment,
in my own strength and will power.
It is impossible for me, but nothing is impossible in the hands of a gracious God.
He is so gracious. I fall, and he helps me up, dusts me off, and sets me on my feet again. I fail and he wraps me in forgiveness. His kindness leads me to repentance.
His mercies are brand new every morning. Each day is an opportunity to shine a little brighter for him. Each day is an opportunity to be transformed to be more like him.
To shine as bright as the sun, filled with the son.
