I’ve prayed like I’ve never prayed before. I’ve reminded God of who He was and who I was. I’ve laid out my devotion and faithfulness. I’ve believed for a miracle. And I got a non-miracle. I got a, “Nope, I don’t think so.”
Upset? Yes. Crushed? You bet. Disappointed? Absolutely.
But I was determined to trust. Until I realized that trusting God was too dangerous because His love didn’t seem safe. He refused to give me what I wanted. To not answer my prayer the way I wanted seemed mean. So maybe He didn’t love me as much as He said He did.
The Flaw
My flaw? (Besides thinking I could boss God around?) was this: I was looking at God’s love through the broken glass of my own life. When I view God’s love through my brokenness, I see warped love. But when I view God’s love through His lens: I see a perfect love that casts out fear. I see a love that watched His son bleed a violent death so that I might know Him intimately as Father, Hope, Light and Life. I see a love that gave all so that I might know a hope and peace that defies all human explanation.
When I base my understanding on God’s love by what He does or does not do for me, I am doomed to struggle to trust Him. But when I base my understanding on God’s love on His character and His word, I am assured an unshakable trust.
Unshakable. Who wouldn’t love that? Who can really, truly understand that? Nothing in our finite world is unshakable. Buildings collapse. People disappoint. Jobs fail. Governments corrode.
Steadfast
But God. His love is steadfast. Unmovable. Unwavering. Resolute. Constant. Relent-less. Singleminded. Unyielding.
We get hit with bad news and our world is shaken. So we question whether God really loves us, but instead of confronting that issue, we decide we just need to trust Him more. We try harder, but then struggler harder when the bad things don’t quit hitting us.
We equate love of God with peaceful lives, answered prayers, and clear paths.
We don’t equate God’s love to trials, desert experiences, and dim paths.
However, God’s love transcends what we see, feel, or experience. It’s something we receive in faith, believe in faith, and grow in faith.
He loved us before we knew Him. We love Him because He loved us first.
And then He calls us to love Him first.
So, lets talk about love before we talk trust. Because the root of trust issues is a love issue.
Love & Trust
Do you believe God loves you? Really, truly loves you? Not that you feel like He loves you, but do you believe He loves you?
The Bible is full of examples about His steadfast love. He loved Joseph and gave Him favor: as a slave, in prison, and as second in command. He loved the Israelites even when they refused to love Him back.
He loves us more than we love our favorite people.
Sometimes we just have to say, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.”
It doesn’t have to be proven to be true. It just is.
Okay, but what about if you need proof? Grab a mirror and smile. See those muscles move? That’s proof that God loves you. Hold the mirror close to your mouth and exhale. Again, that breath? It was gifted to you by God. Find your pulse–that involuntary muscle? Who started it? God.
I know what it’s like to ache and wonder whether you’re loved or not. I know the heart that aches and wonders if you’re the only unloveable one in the room. I know what it’s like to wave from the outside and realize that no one is waving back at you.
Unloved.
Yet, not.
The King of the universe has this crazy, unshakable love for you and he lavishes it on you. Do you have a teflon heart or a velcro heart? Does this truth slip right off or does it stick?
Application
1. Copy Psalm 21:7 on a card and tape it on the dashboard of your car.
2. If you have a teflon heart, why? Can you point to one circumstance that caused you to disbelieve God’s love? Now, write it down. Then, look at your disappoint with fresh eyes. Finally, use a Bible search tool to find three verses that describe God’s love for you.
3. Repeat: “God loves me with an unshakable kind of love,” 3 times before each meal.
Our world is in distress. It’s like I can hear it gasping for breath and flatlining as disaster after disaster overtakes. Yet within the disaster is a unifying, rallying cry of the human spirit. Collectively, we turn to the One who holds our hearts in his hand.
God is my refuge. He is my safe place, my rock and my salvation. He lifts my head when I cannot hold it up. I run to him and he hears my cry. He is my God and my Savior. Is he yours?
Do you turn to him when the world collapses? Or do you turn to your strength? When I face insurmountable odds, I’m reminded anew how weak I am and how strong he is. Fire. Flood. Health. Disappointment. Heartache. Failed relationships.
Life doesn’t make sense, and sometimes God doesn’t make sense. However, if we have ears to hear and eyes to see and a heart that runs to him, he reveals himself. The mystery unravels and new depths of God’s truth is deposited in our hearts.
He is our rock and our refuge, but we have to run to him. When literal storms come we head for shelter, and when emotional storms come, God is our best shelter. Sometimes his rescue doesn’t come in the form of removing us from the situation, but comes in the form of refuge.
He is our shield and our defense. We align our lives with his and find comfort and rescue even when our lives fall apart. I don’t understand why we’re facing so much natural devastation. It could be that the earth is crying out, the rocks are praising him, and the seas are roaring because we’ve failed to praise him. But I refuse to explain the reason for the multitude of disasters this world is experiencing, because God’s ways and thoughts are not mine.
But what I am willing to explain is this: God is for us not against. He is just and kind. His heart beats passionately for us and he is the safest place for us.
A couple of weeks ago, I posted a prayer for all of us facing life changing circumstances. Today I wanted to give you the prayer in a printable form so that you can see the reminders of God’s love before you. I know what it’s like to need those visual reminders of God’s goodness because sometimes the circumstances seem so large.
Please click the link for access to a printable pdf:
God is so good. He meets me where I am and he’s my safe place to pour out my heart when I’m feeling rejected. I know this sounds silly, but sometimes I wake up and feel like all my friends don’t like me anymore. By the end of the day I have myself convinced that I am friendless and un-likeable and rejection lurks.
I run to God, and I pour out my heart to him and tell him my fears and within his refuge he reminds me of myself. He reminds me that I am a child of God, that I’m redeemed, and that I’m secure in Him.
He reminds me that in him I am loved. He reminds me that my thoughts need to be brought captive and by thinking that all my friends hate me because of some imaginary thing I did is pretty inward focused. He gently redirects my heart to what is true: I have friends. They like me. I like them. I’m going to disappoint them. They will disappoint me. But that’s what forgiveness is for. I can forgive myself when I fail my personal friendship standards. And I can ask forgiveness when I fail theirs. God also reminds me that my battles with insecurity don’t make me weak, they make me strong because I run to him for strength and help.
Do you ever feel like your heart is about to vomit all over the place? That there’s so much inside and some of it’s great, but some of it’s really ugly and like mold it spreads and takes over the good stuff?
There’s some word vomiting happening around us. Too often someone speaks before they think and in the process spews dissension and hate all over the place. Too often we hid behind screens and keyboards failing to consider the consequences of our words. Social media is not our personal journal. Not everything we feel or every opinion we have needs to be aired in public.
Yet, we need a place for these ugly feelings and thoughts to go. Some of us have trusted friends that we can share the “uglies” and they will point us to Christ and his word for direction. Sometimes, though, we choose someone else to spew our uglies at and it becomes even messier than before because we’ve created a super-cell super-destructive storm of emotions.
Somewhere along the way we’ve lost the relatability of God. In the midst of our awareness of his awesomeness and majesty, we forget that he is also supremely interested in us. In all of us–the good stuff and the bad.
“Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:8
Our trust in God is related to how open open our hearts are to him. I don’t think God wants our sanitized hearts. Our sanitized hearts look a lot like the produce drawers in my fridge: clean on one side and nasty on the other.
In our world divisiveness rages. People hate on one another, turn their backs on their fellow man, use words to kill and destroy, declare tolerance in the name of hate. Our hearts fill with rage or disgust and so we speak. And sometimes in the speaking, we wound.
We wound because we haven’t taken the pain in our hearts to God and let him sanitize our pain so our words become life-giving instead of life-taking.
At times, our hearts have a difficult time separating righteous anger from regular anger, gossip from a prayer request, or conditional love from unconditional love. We need God to sift through the feelings and purify the things that don’t please him so that our hearts honor him with everything we say and do.
Pouring out our hearts to God can become the single most important thing we can do in our personal walk with him. He is the first to receive our confusion, our frustration, our questions, fears and anger. Only then, once our hearts are empty can he fill us up.
He fills us up with his peace, wisdom, guidance, joy and love. He becomes our refuge–where we’re kept safe and held close to his heart–so that we can know his heart. And when our hearts are filled with his heart, we can share words that give life and pour love onto the weary hearts around us.
Run to him first with all your care and concerns. Find solace in his word. Find power in the Holy Spirit. Live in his wisdom not your own and remember that your poured out empty heart has room for him to fill you.
