Reframing Rejection

How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything

We long to make a break from the relentless pursuit of acceptance and the unrelenting fear of rejection. Yet we end up striving to please people, holding on to the burden of perfectionism and grappling for control rather than finding the freedom God promises.

In this inspired read, Jessica Van Roekel offers a path through the pain rejection causes to the exhilarating freedom that comes when you’re released from the yoke of living for other people’s approval.

Through poignant stories and examination of Scripture, Reframing Rejection will lead you to the joy of walking in the fullness of who God created you to be. Each chapter includes brief questions for self-reflection to guide you in gaining a new perspective of rejection.

Do you struggle to overcome rejection?

Does it seem like no matter what you do, rejection still happens? You twist this way and that, trying to please your boss, friends, and family. Insecurity grips your heart because you wonder if rejection is inevitable. But what if we could move from a place of fearing it to overcoming it?

This was the question Jessica Van Roekel asked when she came awake to the consequences of striving for a rejection-proof life. Instead of living in God’s freedom, she lived trapped in people pleasing, perfectionism, and control. Through poignant and personal stories, Jessica takes you through the journey of reframing rejection so that you might live free from rejection’s tyranny.

Reading Reframing Rejection will equip and empower you to

  • identify four different rejection categories;
  • discover four lenses to frame rejection experiences in and break unhealthy cycles;
  • face rejection with hope that God has a purpose for you;
  • remove the yoke of living for other people’s approval;
  • experience the exhilarating sufficiency of Jesus;
  • engage with God through the “Reflect,” “Reframe,” and “Renew” portion of each chapter.

Reframing Rejection will lead you to freedom, healing, and peace as you discover the joy of walking in the fullness of who God created you to be.


If rejection has sidelined you from having meaningful relationships and even from doing that which you love, you will find help and healing from Jessica Van Roekel’s Reframing Rejection: How Looking through a Different Lens Changes Everything. She carefully examines the root issues that underlie our reactions to criticism, betrayal, rejection, and even simple disregard and provides a helpful way to reframe those negative experiences so that we can find redirection, refinement, and restoration for our lives.

~Janet Holm McHenry, national speaker author of 24 books, including the bestselling PrayerWalk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus

When I was younger, I thought it was my job to make sure everyone liked me. As a professional counselor of 20 years, I see so many clients struggle with the same desire believing it is what “good Christian’s do.” I love that in Reframing Rejection, Jessica Van Roekel provides practical biblical tools to help us manage the reality we all face and freedom from human rejection we all long for.

~Michelle Nietert, M.A., LPC-S
Author of Loved and Cherished and Make Up Your Mind

In a “cancel culture” society, where most feel the sting of rejection, the cold shoulder, the rebuff, or the pain of harsh and harmful words, Jessica Van Roekel’s Reframing Rejection, How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything, is a life line of hope and healing. Flip the script by learning to look at God’s redemptive solutions for living whole and healthy in this broken world.

~Pam Farrel, author of 56 books including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and Discovering Good News in John: A Creative Bible Study Experience

Jessica framed up well what rejection evokes in one’s life: perfectionism. Having dealt with a lot of rejection in my life, Reframing Rejection shows the process and path to recovery for the wounded soul who is afraid to face rejection again. Jessica’s Reflect, Reframe, and Remember section at the end of each chapter creates space for real change to happen in the reader.

~Denise Pass, M.A. Biblical Exposition, Author of Make Up Your Mind and Shame Off You, speaker and founder, Seeing Deep Ministries

With vulnerability and hard-won wisdom, Jessica Van Roekel tackles a painful struggle that nearly all of us have experienced: rejection. Jessica knows the crippling shame of being tossed aside, but she also knows the way toward healing. And now, she reaches a hand back to you. With vivid storytelling and Biblical truth, Jessica shows you how God can take the broken pieces of your hurting heart and make it new again. Read this book, and find the healing you’ve been longing for.

~Jennifer Dukes Lee, author of Growing Slow and It’s All Under Control

Everyone will experience rejection in some form at some point in their life, and it can be soul-crushing and heart-breaking. But Jessica Van Roekel helps us reframe rejection so that we can grow from it and view it from God’s perspective. To realize that God never wastes our pain and uses the pain of our rejection to redirect, refine, and restore us brings beauty for ashes. Reframing Rejection is a poignant look at life’s very real and painful encounters, but through a hopeful lens that is sure to help bring healing to the wounded heart.

~Dr. Michelle Bengtson, Clinical Neuropsychologist and award winning author of Hope Prevails, Breaking Anxiety’s Grip, and Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right

In Jessica Van Roekel’s beautifully written book, Reframing Rejection, she allows us to go behind the scenes of her own devastating rejections. As she takes us on her journey, she uncovers a path we can follow to find healing for our own wounded hearts.

~Linda Evans Shepherd, bestselling author and founder of the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association


7 Hebrew Words of Praise

Delight in God is one of the lenses through which we reframe rejection and praise is one way to express our delight. Explore seven different expressions of praise to give depth to your times of worship and watch your relationship with the Lord flourish through them.

Reframing Rejection with Wisdom from Philippians

Discover the four types of rejection, their impact, how to reframe them, and refocus your heart so that you can heal from the pain rejection brings.


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Reframing Rejection with Jessica Van Roekel

by The Voice of Influence

Jessica Van Roekel

Jessica Van Roekel loves the upside-down life of following Jesus as she journeys to wholeness through brokenness. As an author, speaker, and worship leader, she uses her gifts and experiences to share God’s transformative power to rescue, restore, and renew. She longs for you to know that rejection doesn’t have to define or determine your future when placed in God’s healing hands. Jessica and her husband have two adult daughters spreading their wings, and two highschoolers, a son and daughter, fluttering their wings as they edge closer to the nest.


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