Your City of Refuge for Your Traitorous Heart
An Enemy
You know that battle you’re in? The one where you need a rebel heart? Sometimes it gets ugly and you take a cheap shot and find that you’re bleeding through your tears. You search for the enemy and his location. Only you don’t see an enemy, you see yourself.
You see yourself wielding a weapon that kills your spirit and cuts out the good. Sometimes the good shines too much of a spotlight on your bad. The enemy of your soul tries to tell you it’s better to be bad than a mix of good and bad and you believe it. So you take your weapon and wound yourself. But not only have you cut the good out, but you’ve re-wounded the bad and your heart continues to bleed out. And your mind tells you that you’re worth nothing to nobody.
These types of heart wounds take place when we forget that we live a both/and kind of life.
We are the murderer and the acquitted.
The Guilty and Innocent
Without the saving work of Jesus Christ on the cross and the unfathomable grace God give us, we are nothing more than destructive, sinful people. Our crimes, so to speak, are not limited to only hurting ourselves, but they spread out to those around us. There are times when the wounds in our hearts hurt us so bad that we find psuedo-relief when we hurt someone else.
The Refuge Series in my attempt to remind us that there is a place for our murderous and wounded hearts. “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer.” 1 John 3:15
We don’t have to actually commit murder to murder. Hate in our hearts is murder. Without Christ our hearts stay wounded and broken. We are a mess. A mess that seems impossible to fix.
But God
In the Old Testament, God created cities of refuge for all people who committed a crime of passion. This humanitarian option took vengeance out of the hands of the people. The elders determined innocent or guilty.
The catch? The person that found refuge couldn’t leave the city until the high priest died. In Old Testament times the High Priest bore the sins of the people (can you imagine that burden? It would make me cranky, crabby, and law-making). so this refuge actually became like house arrest. If the person left the city of refuge, he was fair game for his enemies, but safe if he stayed.
So how does this apply to us? I’m not a murderer you might say. And I would agree. But how many times have you used your words to cut off the life God wants to grow in you? How many times have I done it? Too many to count. How many times have we followed God until we grew uncomfortable, and then quit the growing process? This is like cutting off or murdering the life God grows in you.
Our City of Refuge
God is our city of refuge. But he’s also our High Priest. And Jesus has already paid the penalty for our sins. So it’s a both/and kind of life.
We run our guilty hide straight into God’s refuge. He protects us from our enemies, which is often ourselves. And Jesus has already fulfilled the payment for forgiveness of sins. We confess. We get a fresh slate. Wiped clean. Brand new. When we leave the city of refuge, our enemies can’t touch us. Because we’re covered in Jesus’ righteousness.
This is the kind of refuge I need. I need it when my life blows shrapnel into my heart. I need it when the words I speak to myself destroy the good thing God is doing in me. Do you?
Do you need to run to God’s refuge today? Not because of some outward force of enemy, but because you keep sabotaging your Christian walk? Do you feel like you’ve messed up too much and God must be sick of you?
He’s not. He’s waiting with arms open wide to offer you forgiveness and grace and the strength to grow.
Run to Him. He is your city of refuge.
Application
- Grab a 3×5 card, a journal, or notebook and write this prayer:
“Lord, search me and know me. See if there is any anxious way within me. Shine the spotlight of your Holy Spirit into the darkened and deadened areas of my heart. Lead me in the way of truth so that I might live fully for you.”
- Read and Meditate on Psalm 51
- Copy Psalm 51:10-11 in a place where you will see it.
When You Need Escape from Your Life
Unmet Expectations
Escape. Retreat. Refuge. We all long for some type of relief at some point in our lives. For some it’s tragedy, health scares, or just the mundane everyday-ness of life. And sometimes, in one day, we can be at the top of the world and in the depths of the. Our emotions run rampant and we feel ecstatic one moment and ticked off the next. Why is that?
Emotions are fickle, unreliable little tyrants who have far too much control in our life. Circumstances are those things that drive the emotions so if emotions are tyrants and circumstances are conductors, then what do we do with what we feel? How can we process our emotions and feelings and frustrations in the midst of controlling circumstances?
By living in refuge.
Refuge Living
Refuge is defined as a shelter, protection, aid or relief. God is all of that. He shelters us. We find comfort in his love. He protects us by defending us. He offers us aid if we will accept it. And sometimes, he just plain offers us relief for a brief moment when we meet him in the secret place.
Living this life is a both/and kind of experience. We live in this world where we experience all the good and bad the world has to offer. We also live in God’s kingdom where we find peace and comfort that makes no sense when we consider our circumstances.
But back to those emotions. Process your emotions in the refuge that God provides. Show him your hurts. Scream your pain. Unfold your hands from your shame. He welcomes you with open arms. He pulls on threads that don’t belong and replaces them with vibrancy that makes your life nuanced with depth and color.
“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:9-10.
Relief
Seek him. Seek him for relief from life. It’s easy to self-medicate ourselves with food, chocolate, coffee, alcohol, drugs, tv, pleasure, or hobbies. True relief comes when we bring ourselves, our messed up selves, to God and say: “Here I am. I can’t keep going. Help.” And he does.
He gently wipes your tears. You’re kindly pointed in the right direction, and he walks with you. He won’t forsake you if you seek him.
Seek him and find him.
Application
- Grab a 3×5 card and write down the main controlling emotion you struggle with.
- Head to Bible Gateway and type in that emotion in the search box.
- Choose a verse that speaks to your need and write it under the emotion on the 3×5 card.
- Tape the 3×5 card in a place where you see it regularly.
Having a Steadfast Heart in the Midst of Catastrophes
©JessicaVanRoekelPhotography
The Catastrophe
A bowl full of jello. Shaking. Quivering. Even after the bowl’s been bumped, the quivering continues. It starts on the outside and works its way to the inside. This is what I feel like when I hear bad news.
“He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Psalm 112:7
We don’t have to fear the unknown or tomorrow’s headlines. But we do. We fear because we wonder whether God is who he says he is. We wonder if we are who he says we are. Our hearts are not steadfast.
The Rock
Imagine the lighthouse on the cliff. That rock? It doesn’t move. The lighthouse is firm and secure and able to do its job of shining a beacon of light to those who need it. Even when the storm rages and beats the cliff and waves overcome, the rock doesn’t move.
What is your storm? What is the thing that is overwhelming you? Is it doubt, addiction, or failing relationships? Is it your thoughts, fears, or anxiety?
We all have junk. We all suffer. Sometimes it’s because of our own foolish choices and sometimes it’s because something comes to us uninvited like cancer or rejection or slander.
Our afflictions, as massive as they appear to us, can be used to bring about a brokenness in our lives that, in the end, make us the strongest version of ourselves. When I am weak, He is strong. When I cannot go on, He carries me. In my weaknesses I see the mighty strength of God.
Our weaknesses, our afflictions are not given to us in order to make us pay for some sin in our life.
Two Types of Schools
They are given to us so that we might know the power of God working in our lives. It’s not the School of Hard-Knocks that teach us grace. It’s the University of Suffering that cause us to know grace and the power of the Holy Spirit to transform us.
“For great is the his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.” Psalm 117:2
God is faithful through any bad news that comes our way. His love is so great that not only does he walk with us through our suffering, he is faithful to teach us the painful lesson of enduring. And it’s not the enduring, suck it up, stiff upper lip kind of enduring, but it’s the kind of enduring that grows our faith.
When we endure pain, we know Christ’s sufferings and the power of His resurrection.
Enduring teaches us to be faithful no matter what. It teaches us to understand that God loves us with a soft and gentle and fierce kind of love that is reliable and true.
The Hope
Bad news. It happens. It’s inevitable. But here’s the good news: God is faithful. He is steadfast. He is trustworthy.
Today, when you’re tempted to fall in the face of fear, fall forward into the arms of God. He’s got whatever life is throwing at you and He is big enough to hold it and you close to His heart.
Trust his heart for you: it is only good.
Coming Next Month. . .
Are you weary? Heavy-burdened? Are you at the end of yourself?
Next month begins The Refuge Series where we dive into the benefits of making God our refuge. Look for graphics and snippets on my Facebook profile, and weekly devotions here at Welcome Grace.
See you soon!
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