Trivial pursuit is not a game I play. Jeopardy is not a show I watch. I suppose I could learn something from both of them, but random facts don’t interest me. I want to know more than just facts, I want to understand motivations and reasonings.

Have you ever struggled to understand why? Why there is pain, disease, cruelty?

There’s an underlying assumption that as God’s chosen ones, life is a field of green and sweet meadow flowers that we skip through on our way to eternity.

However, this doesn’t quite fit into the calling to be like Christ: Christ suffered. He bled. He died.

We will suffer. Our hearts will bleed. And our old nature will die a thousand deaths before we see Jesus face to face.

Even though I know these facts, when I’m in the middle of the hard, I act like a two-year old and roll on the floor screaming, “I want to understand!”

I want to understand why someone is healed of cancer and another is not. Why would a child raised in the faith walk away from it while another grows stronger in it? How come it’s so hard to do the right thing? I want to know why some people are able to live a victorious life, while other’s wallow in the pain of their past. Mostly, I want to know why God doesn’t intervene in my circumstance right now–as in yesterday!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

I know I trust in God, but my understanding prevents me from acting on that trust.

My understanding is a trust buster.

God’s proven he’s trustworthy, time and again. But before I can say wholeheartedly, “I trust you,” I have to struggle through a whole load of hard questions that often have no answer.

Seriously, we are information junkies. We have immense knowledge at our fingertips. Google. Alexa. Siri. It just takes asking the question and we have an instant answer. And the more instant the answers are the more we crave instancy.

In my prayers, I demand to know “why?”

I want to know what needs to change or adjust or move so this uncomfortable circumstance is gone. done. finished. I want to wrap my head around the motivations, the reasonings, and the plan to get from point A to point B or even to get back the place I was before.

When I try to understand with my understanding of a situation, I’m normally wrong. Just saying.

Oh, sometimes I have the Holy Spirit inspiration, but that doesn’t happen all the time and just because I might know why something is happening doesn’t mean that:  A. I understand it. or B. I stop struggling.

But when I surrender my need to understand and release my agitation, trust becomes easier.

Demanding to understand dismisses trust. Click To Tweet

We have to come to the point where we can be okay with saying, “I don’t understand and I’m okay with it. I can’t lean on my own understanding because I fail myself, but you never fail.” And that’s when we stop leaning on our understanding and instead lean into trusting God because despite what we see or feel, he will make our paths straight.



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I write to encourage you that you can experience a vibrant, transformative relationship with God even if your past or your shame tells you otherwise. God invites you upward and onward, will you join me? You'll receive weekly devotionals straight to your inbox. By subscribing you'll receive my 7-Day Devotional, Kicking Perfect, as a thank-you gift from me!

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